Celebrity Story Time: George R. R. Martin, Part 1/3
(Source: fearisforthewinter, via shrinkinglibrarian)
Things are happening.
@bnycb: this isn’t finalized, but note the nice red dot that is planted on New York City. Note it!
Using the wrong ‘your/you’re’ or ‘there/their/they’re’ is the ultimate lady-boner killer.
ULTIMATE.
Posted May 19, 2012 at 3:04pm
I had a full day of grown-up events and accomplishments and all I can think about is how much better today would have been if I had just spent it inside with TV.
After a solid evening of getting hit on by desperate bar dudes and feeling like a waste of space, I decided the only rational choice I had was to register to take the MCAT.
.
So, yeah, I’m taking the MCAT in September.
.
Shit.
.
I miss the days when my drunk choices consisted of making out and inventing “new and improved” mac and cheese recipes. When the hell did doctor shit get involved with tequila time and how do I stop this from becoming my reality?
Somehow, all my loved ones have decided to make me the official spider squisher/ first line of defense against spider attacks. I’ve never seen anyone get seriously injured by a tiny house sider, but regardless, it still maks me feel important. How important? Night Watch important!
“Spiders gather, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall smoosh them for my wife, father, and children. I shall use boots on my hands and paper towels and expect no glory. I shall live and squish at my post. I am the flip flop wielded in the darkness. I am the watcher of the walls and that weird corner place on the ceiling. I am the lighter that burns against their cold, crafty webs, the light that brings the pain, the horn that smashes them when where is nothing else in reach, the shield that guards the realms of humans from the icky arachnids. I pledge my life and honor to the Spider’s Watch, for this spider and all spiders to come.”
…Did anyone else notice my Facebook page has me listed as “single?”
Posted May 11, 2012 at 7:49pm in game of thrones spiders night's watch the wall television
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2 notes
I was finally able to hang out with a dude I find particularly attractive (and extremely bangable) last night. How did it go? Well, of all the stories in my arsenal, this is the one I chose to share:
“Have you ever been, like, vigorously washing and exfoliating your face in the shower and then when you step out you have, like, a stowaway booker on your cheek or something?”
So, yeah, better than expected.
A
I have no answer to this, except to declare that this right here is why Bianca is one of my favorite people in this world.
If pants are more than three feet away from you and there is television, internet, a great book, or a mediocre sandwish occupying your interest, they might as well not exist.
I have started a collection of hilarious religious propaganda. This was found at a Cinco de Mayo celebration in Longmont, Colorado next to a bunch of pictures of allegedly aborted fetuses and brochures for “pray away the gay” seminars.
The lady attending booth gave me a strange look when I took this. I was going to make a comment about planning to masturbate to it later, but my mom was giving me a disappointed look and heading in the general direction of tacos, so I was forced to prioritize.
